Well the job centre was interesting. Very public and very humiliating. It seems my employment support allowance will run out in March, and then I get nothing as I have more than £16000 in savings. I can (and will) apply for PIP payments which are non means tested, but will not be nearly enough to be able to manage on. I know I should be grateful I have savings, but somehow, having worked all my life and paid  all my dues, I foolishly thought the savings might make my old age more comfortable. As always,the harder you work, the less you get, the less you work, the more you get......something has to be wrong somewhere or is it me? Not entitled to a bean until savings are used up. Am feeling so thrilled that this bloody disease decided to join me for the rest of my life, we can grow old and poor together.
Bloods still out of normal range, for repeat Friday, Hosp next Monday. Weight out of control, all mirrors in the house banned.

Haven't written this for weeks! I lost my job on 11th August as expected due to this pain in the arse illness. They couldn't have been nicer about it and said they would be happy to re employ in the future (if I'm ever capable again), so I guess I can't complain. I'm going to anyway. I am sick and tired of this condition.I'm sick of all the tablets...immunosuppressants to calm/control the immune response, steroids to help that, omeprazole to protect my tummy from steroid damage, calcium and alendronic acid to protect bones from steroid damage and potassium to reduce cramp caused by steroids.Then theres the daily ritual of E45 and eurax cream to try and calm my skin(caused by the steroids) and special shampoo/ conditioner to reduce hair loss(caused by the Azathioprine).Oh and of course, making sure I eat at regular times and take a full glass of water with evening meals and Azathioprine to reduce the risk of nausea at night. Then theres the weekly ritual of having to wake early to take the alendronic acid before anything else with a full glass of water, remain upright for one hour to prevent burning my oesophagus. Forgive me, but I like a cup of tea within minutes of waking, not keen on trying to stay awake whilst upright for an hour before I can do anything else.My life is ruled by this condition and there is no escape from it. Bloods  were in the safe area for a whole total of about 6 weeks. They are now climbing again and I've just started the whole bloody merry go round for the 3rd time. Steroids have been increased again and so back to frequent blood tests. If I'm grateful for anything, its that I didn't go back to work, because if I had, I would be off sick again after only 1 month. I never even got to feeling less tired/confused/achy etc before its gone wrong again. So, to pracey, I'm still miserable, itching all over, fat, spotty, achy,have thinning (but now short) hair, and have no sustainable energy. I hate looking in the mirror and all clothes are uncomfortable.Every day is a struggle and a challenge that most days i don't want to take on.
For a bit of variety from all the medical appointments, I now have a letter asking me to attend the job centre to discuss ways of helping me back into work.....what bit of I'M SICK don't they get??? Presumably sick notes from the GP and letters from consultantts and a P45 saying  I've been terminated from my contract on the grounds of capability due to ill health isn't quite clear enough for them.